some Christmas cheer

if you put vitamin D and docusate sodium in a jar and shine light through it, you will have a very beautiful Christmas centerpiece.

Doesn't generic zofran remind everyone of Santa Claus? On Dasher, ondansetron, on Prancer and Vixen!

umm... no...

A girl came in to pick up her rifampin, septra, and levaquin the day before halloween. She asked if she could drink alcohol with them. "Umm... no..." I said. "Fine, I'll come pick them up next week" and she left.

umm... yes...

A patient called and asked a tech if he should get the swine flu vaccine. She asked me what I thought. The guy is on truvada and 2 protease inhibitors... um... yes... yes he should.

hydro...chloro...thiazide!

I started screaming at the TV while watching the new X-Men movie because the villain explained that they gave Logan's wife "hydro...chloro...thiazide" to induce a near death state and to make her heart slow down to imperceptable levels. "No no no! I screamed. If anything it would make her heart beat faster!" It made me so mad.

press 8

So, Pharmacy Jane was calling to get information on a patient, and the message machine for the doc said, and I quote "Thank you for calling the office of Dr. X... for spanish, press 8..." Would they catch that by the time it got to 8... in english?

Per request of Pharmacy Jane

Most embarrassing story ever:

Someone came to the counter asking where the hearing aid batteries were, I pointed him in the right direction, and a few minutes later, a very similar looking gentleman came to the counter, before looking down at his OTC purchase, I asked him, "did you find those batteries ok?" Everyone started laughing and he said "I guess you could call them that." I looked down and he had a box of condoms.

Special guest contributor: Pharmacy Jane

We had a gentleman come in for a flu shot. He was tall and gaunt, with dark brown hair and magnificent chin-strap beard. I was most disappointed to see that his name was neither Abraham, nor Lincoln.

Later, after the patient had left, I leaned over to the Pharmacist who had administered the shot. "Four score and seven years ago..." She started laughing and told me that wasn't even the best part.

"So he rolled up his sleeve and he had this tattoo. I told him it was so nice that he gave me a target and he told me 'don't stab it in the Lincoln Memorial!'."

It's nice to emulate someone and all, but there is such a thing as going too far...

lab

Spermacides and female condoms are hilarious. enough said.

one more bit of syringe humor

Todd was giving a flu shot to a rather large elderly woman who couldn't roll her sleeve up far enough for the injection, so she just ripped her shirt off in the middle of the pharmacy. She wasn't wearing a bra. Todd was terrified and gave the shot as quickly as possible, then ran away.

Syringes syringes syringes!

A man comes in with a prescription for Humulin N and syringes for his dog. He wants to know what the difference is between his wife's diabetic supplies and the dog's. I told him that the syringes are the same but he was really disturbed by the fact that the syringe his vet gave him wasn't the same length as his wife's syringes. I tried to explain that the diameter of the barrel was slightly larger, thus making it shorter, but he just didn't get it. After trying to explain for a while, I said "just use your wife's syringes, it's fine," and walked off.

On a related note, a woman received compounded progesterone cream in syringes instead of the normal topiclik dispenser. The instructions said "apply 1 ml daily, and she didn't know what that meant on the syringe, so I showed her the markings down the side, etc. She then said "well, this can't be as precise, can it?" I wanted to say, "well actually, it is a heck of a lot more precise than the topiclik" but I didn't.

I gave this big burley man in his late 50's a flu shot today. He was covered in tattoos and actually looked kind of scary. When I put in the needle he vocally yelped and pulled back. It startled me and his wife was busting up laughing behind me. My question, how did he get those tattoos?

I as in...

I did a transfer and needed the other pharmacy's DEA#, the pharmacist said
"It's B, I as in... Igor..."

Gauged

So, I delivered drugs to a hospice for patients with alzheimer's today. The nurse that took the meds was very handsome, though very pierced, gauged, and tattooed. If I had alzheimers, I think I would be very afraid of him... like, every time I saw him for the rest of my life...

Klonopin

"Why is this prescription for 1-3 Lexapro a day?"
"As needed anti-depressants?"
"I thought that was what lorazepam is for"
"No, it's Klonopin, because the tablet tells you everything is O...K..."

injection site reaction

While in a group shadowing a professor, we began to chat with a patient who was beginning interferon gamma treatment at our clinic. When my professor asked the woman about her injection site reactions, the woman totally dropped her pants in front of all of us and said "do you mean this?" "Yes, that would be an injection site reaction, thank you."

best exam question

Props to the Heff for the best test question for this round

Which of the following is not a side affect of Xenical?
a. increased stool volume
b. flatus with discharge
c. oily stool
d. desire to eat high fat foods
e. fecal incontinence

And people take this drug, why?

where do i put this?

I was putting away the order at a pharmacy I was new to and was having issues getting generic drugs in the right order on the shelf because this store shelved things by brand. I held up a box of anucort suppositories and asked a tech "where do I put this?" Without skipping a beat she replied, "up your rectum."

diabetic shoes

There was a woman who was chillin' in our store front for a while, and I wasn't quite sure if she was waiting for help or a med or what, so I turned to ask her if I could help. She was looking at our diabetic shoes display and asked "Will you give me a pair of shoes because I'm diabetic?" "No," I said, "but you can order them from us." "Oh," she said, "because that pair of Mary Janes is really cute." She then walked out of the store.

malfunctional meter

A very grumpy man walked into my pharmacy just as it opened on a Saturday exclaiming that his glucometer wasn't working. The pharmacist handed it to me and the other intern and it took as an hour, and about 6 test strips, to find out what value his test solution should read and to actually perform the test. The test was golden. 47mg/dl and the solution was supposed to read between 31-61. The man wasn't satisfied. I asked him about his medication history, his diet, any lifestyle changes etc., etc., etc. The pharmacist then came up and asked him the same questions. We couldn't placate him, he just got more and more upset, so I said "look, my blood sugar is always under a hundred, can I test myself on your meter?" I lanced myself and tested right in front of him and got 90gm/dl. After about an hour and a half of my time, he finally accepted the fact that his meter is working and his doc will need to bump up his metformin a little.