Shag Carpet

My mom got a frantic phone call from a chronic pain patient. "I dropped my MS Contin on the carpet, but I have shag carpet and I can't find them all. Can I get some more?"

No.

Hormones Awry

I was teaching our new intern how to compound capsules at work. There was a lot of powder in the air because we were doing progesterone, and he wasn't exactly adept at what he was doing. While I measured something out, I heard him start to sputter and cough behind me. "Are you ok?" I asked. "Yeah," he said, "I just licked my lips..."